because when it comes down to this
always try my friggin hardest
but never good enough
i'm angry at myself for not pushing myself hard enough i mean
if i only did that then everything will be ok but now it is'nt and
i have myself to blame
.
how ironic is that today the lesson revolve around suicide
and then i come back home with my mom calling me that
my grandfather is so weak right now
he can't walk and he can't eat by himself
and he told my grandmother that he wants to die
just knowing he said that makes me so angry and friggin drepressed
because i already lost one grandfateher
and i don't want to lose him
and i'm so friggin angry at mnyself so being so fuckin busy
that i dont even visit him
i hate myself like crazy now
i should be the one
it's so painful that he is going through all this
pray for him.
